– woke up
We wake up and leave around nine. Get gas and prepare for exciting adventure driving through the world-renowned, glorious scenery that composes Utah/Colorado.
– drove past desert
– drove past nothing
I firmly believe that Utah was once hit by many, many nuclear warheads. Rarely have I encountered such a desolate wasteland. Think Mad Max was bad? This is worse. At least in Mad Max, they were driving a muscle car.
– drove past zero
Our trip odometer resets to zero after passing 999.99 miles. We win a prize!
– drove past an unchanging scenery for quite a while
… Continue desert wasteland rant.
– passed cars
Incredibly, there are actually other humans out here! Of course, they must also be just passing through as quickly as possible. I noticed a pickup (the most common form of transportation in the middle United States) pulling a Dodge Charger race car. To where, I have no idea. Also, several people were riding choppers, but we did not always hear the requisite Harley-Davidson “potato-potato-potato” exhaust sound. Strange things happen out here.
– Green River, UT the car lurches
– stop on the side
Oh shit! Our intrepid adventurers experience mechanical difficulty as the car lurches and the engine revs drop to zero! They pull over to the side of the road and wait for a few minutes, and are then able to crawl along for a short period at speeds hardly worthy of a Honda.
– rabbits, stones, and pissing
We stop in Green River, Utah and wait for the engine to take a break or something while we hang out. Ben runs around and notices a) a jackrabbit, which he unfortunately cannot catch for food or skinning, and b) a big pile of rocks that are awesome for skipping! How they ended up in the middle of the Utah desert we have no clue, but we don’t care! Ben also takes a piss.
– did it again
– and again
“Fuckery!” -Me. Our car dicks us over again. And again.
– Grand Junction
– Found Auto Zone
We finally reach Grand Junction and try to figure out what’s wrong with the car. We stop at an Auto Zone, where a cool guy looks at the car and gives us a few ideas about what might be wrong. He recommends a mechanic in town and gives us directions.
– went to dealership, closed
– went to auto-repair, closed’
The bleeding Christians in this country conspire against us and close all their businesses for Sunday. Various insults for the dim-witted inhabitants of Colorado are bandied about.
– decided to chance it
Hey, we’re young and stupid! And you wouldn’t want to stay in a place like Grand Junction either!
– over the rockies
– died 7 more times going up inclines
It appears that God didn’t want us to go on this trip. Our car dies seven more times going up the Rocky Mountains. Lovely.
– praying, shouting, yelling
We invoke many deities in our attempts to keep the car running. Also, many cockbites get in our way, forcing us to slow down and lose our hard-earned speeds of 50 miles per hour! The filthy bastards!
– down through the tunnel and didn’t happen again
We hit a downhill grade once we reached a tunnel and didn’t have to stop again. However, we remained very, very cautious. Once we reached Denver, we had to go through a complicated detour to find the semi-suburbia that Paula and Harvey’s house is located in.
– made it to Paula and Harvey’s house
Thank bloody Christ. The house is shaweet.
– went out again to Outback
Car doesn’t fuck us over, but we have to take yet another confusing detour to find the Outback Steakhouse where PK works. Ben tries to remember PK’s last name.
We meet PK!! She’s a cutie! Ben is shocked at how short she is.
We discuss women and our confused love lives over prime ribs and salad. This place makes some damn fine red meat. PK goes outside for a while for a smoke, then rejoins us.
Ben’s Note: Damn it was so nice to see PK. Over the past year or two, we’ve talked and gotten close. She almost feels like a sister when I talk to her online. But meeting her was really strange. It’s like, I know her personality, and things about her life and stuff, but I don’t know her looks, and I haven’t been familiarized with all the physical features she has. I knew she was beautiful from the pictures I’ve seen, but wasn’t sure if she was going to be as so in real life. Well, she is :D. It was a lovely time with her, and I love her so much.
– to PK’s house
– Drawings, etc
We follow PK to her house. She has a cat and dog. She also shows us the art she’s made, which is AWESOME. She has mad talent. She also has a cool Megatokyo blanket in her room. We say goodbye and return to Paula and Harvey’s house.
– back to the house
– played pool
Settle in, play pool, make use of internet connection, la di da di da.
Ben’s Note: I played pool until 1 or something. As I was getting into bed, Sean startles and asks me “Hey, do you have 7 dollars and 11 cents?” and I’m like “Why?” “For the political/government poster.” ::mumble mumble falls back to sleep:: And I just laughed as I too went to bed.